I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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