great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
