He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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