and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
