and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
