Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
