You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize