Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
