sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
