Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
