We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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