This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
