I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
