i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
