My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
