Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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