i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
