Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
