Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
