while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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