ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
