I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize