my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Who died my cat blue again?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
