But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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