did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Enjoy the penises
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
