i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
