she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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