Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
