can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
smell my finger.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize