So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
