Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
