new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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