Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize