Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
