Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
