As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
