dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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