google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We left an ass print on the piano.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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