whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
