You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize