I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm really busy with my period
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