We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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