Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
