just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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