Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
