I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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