My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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