Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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