haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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