I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
