He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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