Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
