I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
