Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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