i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
