i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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