You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
