:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
